Passwords

Tina Francis 2016

Does talking about something cause it to happen? Does writing a will invite the inevitable? Or is being organised the kindest gift you can give to help others through their bereavement? I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I attended a funeral where the deceased had left a full list of who to contact for what should the need arise. As reported by Dying Matters today Royal London has published a new report called "Losing a partner - the financial and practical consequences", the report interviewed 500 people who had been bereaved in the last 5 years and many of them expressed a wish for action as well as words. We are living in a virtual and physical world and something as simple as keeping as list of your passwords could mean the difference between an alright day and a hopeless day.

Dying Matters Awareness Week from 9th May - 15th May is looking at just this topic in their big conversation which this year uses the tag line "Talking about dying won't make it happen", there are many events around the country but it's not essential to go to them but maybe just talk to your nearest and dearest and look at who pays what bill, this is not as a glib a statement as it seems with the Royal London Report stating that 42% of participants were financially and practically unprepared.

The third stage of grief is "Anger and Bargaining" and whether this means anger at the world or at the deceased or at the red tape that you are going through perhaps a little planning could go a long way to reducing or at least blunting the edges a little. I am not sure whether knowing where all the keys are kept will make me any better at dealing with grief in the future but at least I will know how to open the door and let the people who care for me in.

7 Stages of Grief opens at Coffin Works, Fleet Street, Birmingham on 4th May and runs until 29th July. May 13th as part of its participation in Museums at Night and in conjunction with Funeral Partners UK Coffin Works will be holding their own big conversation check their website for details.

Stitching is a very meditative process and when I look at a completed piece I can remember exactly what I listened to and where I stitched it. When you are stitching it really is impossible to think about anything else, the music and place slip in but concentrating on the work means I am able to take a break from everything going on around me.

The exhibition at Coffin Works will include stitching sessions, we will follow a simple pattern choosing colours that are dear to you or those that have died and create a really unique piece of work for display on your lapel or to get framed for your wall at home. The sessions will last for around 90 minutes and whether we have music or not I really hope that the memory of making will be one you will treasure.

The exhibition opens on 4th May and the following week (9th - 15th May) is Dying Matters Awareness Week which this year is promoting talking and listening about bereavement,death and dying with their theme "The Big Conversation". Do take a look at their page which is full of information and care.

Tapestry Needlepoint Art

I am a tapestry needlepoint artist and will be using this page in 2016 to promote my solo exhibition "7 Stages of Grief" which will open at The Coffin Works in Birmingham in May and then travel down to the National Needlework Archive at the beginning of August.

Being from Birmingham, the city of 1000 trades, I am surrounded by people making what we need and then fixing what is broken, we get on with things here, we follow processes. That cannot be said of grief.

Grief is not a straight path, a race or a tick list but as a maker driven by process and rules investigating the 7 stages of grief has helped me to understand and accept that not everything that is broken can be totally fixed we just have to take more time to make it work. 

I will be adding more details about this exhibition, the workshops and seminars that will run alongside it in the coming weeks and months.