Tina Francis 2016
Does talking about something cause it to happen? Does writing a will invite the inevitable? Or is being organised the kindest gift you can give to help others through their bereavement? I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I attended a funeral where the deceased had left a full list of who to contact for what should the need arise. As reported by Dying Matters today Royal London has published a new report called "Losing a partner - the financial and practical consequences", the report interviewed 500 people who had been bereaved in the last 5 years and many of them expressed a wish for action as well as words. We are living in a virtual and physical world and something as simple as keeping as list of your passwords could mean the difference between an alright day and a hopeless day.
Dying Matters Awareness Week from 9th May - 15th May is looking at just this topic in their big conversation which this year uses the tag line "Talking about dying won't make it happen", there are many events around the country but it's not essential to go to them but maybe just talk to your nearest and dearest and look at who pays what bill, this is not as a glib a statement as it seems with the Royal London Report stating that 42% of participants were financially and practically unprepared.
The third stage of grief is "Anger and Bargaining" and whether this means anger at the world or at the deceased or at the red tape that you are going through perhaps a little planning could go a long way to reducing or at least blunting the edges a little. I am not sure whether knowing where all the keys are kept will make me any better at dealing with grief in the future but at least I will know how to open the door and let the people who care for me in.